Yesterday morning I was having a major farting fest. They smelled really bad too, like something had crawled up inside of me and died. I was expecting a big production when I finally squatted over the bowl. I thought I was at risk of filling the bowl. I was sorely disappointed. I couldn't even squeeze out a deformed nugget, it was horrible. When I finally did get something to come out mid afternoon it was nothing more than what an ant's poop might look like. The day was filled with a lot of false promises. I felt like I could have popped.
When I woke up this morning I felt like my insides were as hard as a rock. I sat on the toilet for a good half hour and all that came out were a dozen babies toes. I was already going to be late for work and I felt like I had more business to attend to, so I stayed home to work things out. It had been a few days since I'd had a good session on the throne, and even then I had had a few days between the last couple of them.
I wanted to stay home so that I could be on the toilet before I finished a fart. I tend to put it off sometimes even when I know I shouldn't. Things come up, when it`s coming down, you know? I wasn't convinced that taking the day off would work, but it worked better than I thought. I had a few false alarms but for the most part I think I got the bulk of my load out. Not that it didn't take the whole day, and didn't hurt. It certainly did not feel good. (I swear I saw a little blood). So problem solved for now, I’ll live to poop another day...I hope.
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