Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Things were finally returning to normal...

I thought that things were finally returning to normal. No real stand out joe's. Certainly nothing to write home about. A couple giant guys but that's about it. Nothing but regualr sessions.

And then yesterday I worked really really hard to produce my joe, and when I looked down what felt like a 10lb sausage ended up being more like little finger hot dogs.

And now Josephine is here and things are about to get very very messy...

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Hooked at the end

This morning I had quite the big joe again, despite the large one I birthed yesterday. While this one wasn't as big, it was big enough, and it was hooked at the very end. I've never seen that before! Maybe my trapdoor has a dent in it! Or maybe I just moved when he was about ready to hit the bowl.

In any case it was very weird.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Pre-bed poop

Even with the gigantic dinosaur sized turd I dropped in the toilet today, I still had a pre-bed poop!

Usually I only have one if I haven't really gone all day, interesting...

I've seen a newborn smaller than this one...

By far the largest poop that has ever come out of my backside today. I swear to god there must be newborns that weigh less than this guy did. No wonder I felt such a heavy weight in my bowels.

It was so big, the splash back from the toilet water soaked my hair!

I think it may have even been bigger than my cat...

...And I didn't even double check that he flushed...

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Death Farts

I've been to busy too poop...well at least too busy to get a good look at it.
It's been mediocre, but today I've been having death farts so I think a wild ride is awaiting me tomorrow.

I've also noticed my farts have been more like sharts too. I sat on the throne, let one rip and something dripped...

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Rectum Popping Poop

Today I pooped again and again and again. Or at least it felt like I did. It was stuck, coming out in dribbles. I finally felt like the end was coming, and no one was in the bathroom so I closed my eyes, held my breath and gave a loud heave ho. But the only thing that happened was that I thought my rectum was going to pop. Like I blew up the balloon too full and it was going to burst.

I finally did manage to get the poop to come out, and when it did, I used all my energy to try and make it come out in one long stream. Have you ever tried to do that? It takes a lot of concentration and patience, but I find it somewhat satisfying. It was very long and fat. And the side were all shockingly flat, except for the tips the sides looked like they came out a play doh maker. Overall it was a very fascinating pooping day.

Poop Fusion

Yesterday I was running late and I didn’t have time to poop before I left for work. Yes, unlike others I have the power to hold my poop. It’s really more like, if I don’ think about it it isn’t there. The only problem with that is that I had some really weird poops all day. I forgot I hadn’t pooped in the morning so I was all freaked out at first.

I guess because I held my poop, it fused together while it was backed up in the loading dock. When I looked down at it, it kind of reminded me of when you squish 2 bars of soap together in the shower, except a little more finger/cone shaped.
Aside from the poop fusion, it trickled out of me like I was peeing out my bum. Nearer to the end of the day I started having some stinky wet farts. When I finally when to the washroom, there was a distinct streak in there (thank god for PLs).