I’ve pooped a lot lately. More than normal, but not enough to worry. I could feel a poop coming on the other day while I was out. I ignored it for as long as I could but suddenly realized I may have waited a little too long so I had to scurry quickly to the nearest loo.
Despite my feelings of urgency, when I sat down, nothing was there. I pushed and pushed, but nothing came, so I moved on my next strategy. I pulled out my phone, turned on the Tetris and tried to relax. Still no luck. I thought maybe I was wrong. Maybe, despite feeling like a rock was trying to make its way out my butt, there was nothing there. A phantom poop, there but not really.
I gave up. My friend was waiting for me, I had places to go, people to see. I didn’t have any more time to give this little guy. I reached over to grab some tp so I could wipe and get out of there, but apparently there was something in the motion of reaching out for the tp that made my bowels explode into the bowl beneath my bum.
Now, instead of being full of poop, I was full of shock and amusement.