Sunday, July 19, 2009


My stomach was burbling, but as I puttered around the house I forgot about the volcano getting ready to burst out of my bottom. Finally after a while I realized I had to go pee. Inconveniently I was in the laundry room of my building. I debated going in there, but the Super was puttering around so I decided to go back upstairs and use my own toilet. Turned out to be a really good call.

I sat down to pee, and after about 30 seconds of peeing IT started pouring out of me. The poop that is. Felt like nothing, I didn't know it was happening until it started hitting the bowl.

After I got the initial dropping, I started to get the painful poop cramps. You know the ones, they feel like your giving birth to a wee poo. You can feel the muscles in your bowels working. After birthing about 5 of these little guys and feeling like some lava had just poured slowly from my bum I was done.

When I looked down into the bowl to inspect my work it was a lot smaller than I expected. My cat has bigger turds than this...but then again my cat just has really big turds. It was like a pile of lizard poop, or what I imagine it would be like, because really I've never seen lizard poop before.

In any case, my bowels are a rumbling again...

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